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Damn I am in a mess right now my head just can't stop spinning 360 and keep thinking about her, I really don't know what I am going to do next, I just felt that I got cockblocked by my friend real fucking bad I am just in a freaking mess in my head. To Be honest frankly speaking I think he likes the girl I like tOo in my opinion its just feel so painful to be the one that not talking to her that close but instead of him but I acknowledge that MY LIFE HAVE BEEN SO BAD IN THE PAST 19 YEARS TTHE AMMOUNT OF COUNTLESS OF SHIT THAT I DID I TRUTHLY REGRET EVERY THING I DID IN THE PAST WHICH I ENDED UP HERE. I TRUTHFULLY LIKE HER I REALLY HOPE YOU KNOW I COULD BE THE ONE TO TALK HER BUT THIS LIKE IS JUST BLINDLY WAY TOO BLINDLY FRIENDS THAT ARE REAL ASSHOLE SPREADED THE RUMOURS. MY SITUATION IS WAY TOO FUCK UP AND I FELT REALLY PISSED AND BAD ABOUT IT. I REALLY HOPE AND KNOW WHAT CAN I DO NEXT I AM REALLY PISSED WITH THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW ITS ALL STARTED NORMALLY AFTERALL WHY IT JUST GOTTA FUCKING TO GO DOWN THIS WAY I JUST FEEL THIS IS JUST TOO STUPID SO BASICALLY I MA GONNA LOSE THIS WAR SO BADLY RIGHT NOW IF I DONT DO ANYTHING BUT EVEN IF I DO WHAT CAN I DO LIKE SERIOUSLY I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT CAN I DO BUT REALLY HOPE SOMEONE CAN TELL ME SO. SO BASICALLY IF TTTHIS CARRY ON I CAN CARRY ON EATING SHIT EVERY SINGLE WEEK. I DO NOT REALLY WANNA JUMP INTO CONCLUSION THAT EARLY IF ONE DAY IT REALLY HAPPENS WHAT WOULD YOU DO ? HMM..... I WOULD JUST WISH THEM BOTH GOOD LUCK BUT I REALLY DON'T WANT IT TO TURN OUT THIS WAY. AHH FUCK THIS I AM OUT... IF I REALLY LEAVE MY LIFE FIRST I REALLY HOPEFULLY I WILL LOOK AFTER HER AS HER GUARDIAN ANGEL NO DOUBTS GIVING HER ALL THE BLESSING I CAN GIVE BUT TTBH I JUST JUMPING TOO MUCH ON CONCLUSION I DON'T REALLY KNOW MY FRIEND IS HELPING ME OR NOT, OR HE JUST HELPING HIMSELF OUT I JUST REALLY DAMN PISSED BUT I DONT HATE MY ENEMY FRIENDS ARE STILL FRIENDS EVER SINCE PRIMARY SCHOOL I DID'T LET A SINGLE OF MY FRIENDS DOWN I REALLY TOO LOYAL TO TTHOSE PEOPLE BUT THIS IS HOW TTHEY GAVE BACK I AM REALLY TOO ANGRY BUT I TRYING NOT TO BE AT IT I KNOW IT WILL JUST PULLED MY MOOD DOWN OR ITS JUST TOO BAD BUT NEVERTHELESS I CANT HELP IT ANYWAYS. ONE MANS CAN'T CONTROL THE WILL OF RESTT OF PEOPLE BUT HE ONLY COULD LEAD SO THIS MY END OFF THE SPEECH IF I REALLY GOES TO THE ANOTHER WORLD I REALLY HOPE YOU COULD SEE THIS I REALLY REGRETTED NOT TALKING TO YOU AND PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR THIS STUPID RUMOURS THIS IS JUST WAY TOO BLINDLY TOO BLINDLY I AM REALLY FELTT SO BAD ABOUTT IT BUTT REST ASSURE IT WILL BE ALRIGHT AND I HOPE I WILL ABLE TO TALK , LIVE WITH YOU ONE DAY MAYBE IT WOULD NOT BE NOW OR TTHE FUTURE I AM JUST HOPPING BUT MY HOPE WILL BE AT 0% BECAUSE I WOULD KNOW ITTT PROBABLY WONT BE HAPPENING BUT LETS SEE HOW ITS GOES. I WILL JUSTT HAVE TTO TAKE INITTAIVE CAUSE ITS JUSTT HOW THE WAYS ITS WORKS.